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new years resolution yoga yogi
So 2017 has been….interesting, and by that I mean:
Initiating into a new sense of self.
By the end of 2016, I had been stripped away of all identity after knowingly walking away from one of the ‘happiest’ times of my life as a new yoga teacher and further more, steam rolled over by a 6 week silent meditation retreat which just stripped me of my sense of self. 2017 has really been about dealing with the void and watching the mind attempting to scramble back bits of the broken puzzle. It has been about learning to love myself however lost or broken or imperfect I may have felt and in doing so, allowing the dust to settle back to stillness. Now that the mind’s scramble for identity has settled, I feel the stillness once again has become the guiding light of the Soul.
Last year’s resolution was so much about expressing from the heart and speaking my truth….and boy what a lot of speaking I’ve been doing. Mostly openly expressing all the thoughts and feelings that have needed an outlet in order to be released. Every time I’ve expressed challenging emotions, I’ve allowed myself the freedom and acceptance to have it come unadulterated and to be my own space holder, quietly watching from another space and comforting myself as I spoke out. To allow and to be our own counsel and space holder is incredibly empowering. At once, we can be that broken child that can finally kick, scream and cry and we can be that unconditional love that is the only means to mend broken hearts.
I chose to practice trust by surrendering to the will of the moment to see where life would take me. It took me to 6 different countries and many phases of life, non alike from another…teaching on retreats, to volunteering at festivals, to cleaning toilets, to coordinating training programs, to sweeping floors, to studying, to outer chaos and back to inner silence. Its been a storm that has rumbled out of me every fear, every doubt, every gripe to try to control. Yet as the rainmaker, to truly trust is to have allowed these stormy feelings to run their course despite the drenching despair that always accompanied them. Now the storm has passed and the sun shines so so bright for 2018.
I feel in a word…stronger…for having gone through everything this last year. And regret, hind site, shoulda woulda coulda…doesn’t even register in my heart. 2017 was an AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING year of growth and gathering of strength. I feel like my entire being has been turned over and re-made out of titanium. This body is lighter and stronger, this mind, more affirmative and progressive, this heart, more open and more loving.
Challenge is the only way to grow.
Stepping out of our comfort zone is the only way to know.
Trying is the only way to show….that you can do it.
I can hardly wait for this year ahead. I feel like its gonna be a ball!! I head to Thailand next week and first stop.. 🙂 ..10 days of silence to kick start this new year….and then…down to Phuket to dip my toes in a potential new teaching space for the next year. Perhaps my new home. Let’s see. 🙂
1) I’m going all out Vegan. No excuses.
2) Every opportunity that comes….Will be taken.
3) Full steam ahead…I’m getting out there and exposing myself and all the things I wish to share with the world with full confidence and assurance in myself…I am who I am, so take me as I am.
4) Life is always perfectly calculated and there is a cause for every occurrence and an effect for every action. I will continue to observe the arithmetic of life with great wonder, love and appreciation.
5) I will always be with you. You will always be in my heart.
Have the most inspiring 2018.
From the depths of my heart, I send you love.


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