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For reasons yet to be revealed to me, I am undergoing a great deal of suffering. A few days ago my wonderful partner and I went our seperate ways. We loved each other so much, and yet something was amiss. Though I have a mind that is hell bent on decifering the whys and what ifs, my heart is slowly accepting that everything is as it should be and no amount of theory or regret will undo what has evolved the way it has. In every moment I pray for release from our suffering, for the gift of love to shine upon us, for our hearts to melt back into presence and gratitude for everything that has been bestowed upon us. It is a time that demands such a practice, so as to not fall into the depths of despair and darkness.

When this cracker of a chapter hit me like a tonne of bricks and my heart fell into the darkest depths of the earth and my stomach fell with it and I had no more desire to eat. For a moment I nearly rebuked my distaste for food and reached out for something as a habitual need for comfort and survival, but then I felt a very clear and strong message from within….’it’s time to fast’.

And so here I am, on day 5 of my water fast. I had already completed a 3 day fast last year and was somewhat prepared for the early encounters. Most of the feelings of hunger arise in the first 3 days. After this, it subsides significantly and a lightness and clarity begins to emanate through our whole being, physically, mentally, spiritually.

Day 4 has just passed with almost no challenge. The slight lightheadedness and tiredness also seems to be shifting and I feel somewhat positive, hopeful and energized. A deep acceptance and gratitude for life is slowly falling back into place and I appreciate and love my now ex-partner for everything we have experienced together and genuinly wish him love, peace and non suffering.

Post day 3 is the phase where our being goes into deep cleaning. I feel an elimination now coming from the tongue and the chesty cough I had been suffering immediately subsided. Mentally, though the thoughts are still there, they are somewhat calmed and hold less power over my being. Most notable, I am able to hold presence with them and notice them more for what they are. No longer the puppet of my frustrations and restlessness as I have been in recent months.

There are many reasons to fast. For me it is entirely of a spiritual nature. I felt a strong urge to purge; purge of all the toxins of the body, purge of all the limiting and unconcious thought patterns and beliefs, purge of all the emotional binds from my deepest childhood wounds, purge all that cages my soul and creates suffering in my life.

I truly believe that fasting allows this deep healing to take place and an increasing amount of research and experience indicates this. It is worth taking some time to read and learn about fasting and begin to explore how it can nourish our whole being and bring us closer to love.

Let peace and acceptance prevail in our surrender to the dance of life.

Sending all of you, including myself, all the love of this universe.

Yan xXx



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